Theorizing love and loss: the diary
by RueRigescent
Summary: Ulquiorra is forced to keep a journal recording his events in Hueco Mundo but as things take a turn for the worse Ulquiorra is forced to make some tough choices. UlquiXGrimm, UlquiXGgio, GrimmXNel, GrimmXNnoi, and more. yaoi and yuri. it's pretty funny XD
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: obviously I don't own Bleach. If I did I wouldn't be here writing _about_ it, I'd be re-writing it to my own, twisted ideas.

A/N: ok I really love Bleach but I'm rather upset with the outcome of the Espada…SO, lets' just pretend they didn't all die and that there is some actual feeling hidden within Ulquiorra…anyways this is my first official Bleach story and I hope for some good feed-back so I can improve and stir the emotions (whether they be violent or fluffy) within my readers XD btw this is a diary, regardless of what Ulqui-chan would have to say about it, that he kept in his time in Hueco Mundo. It recounts his events throughout his time spent there and even gives insight into his feelings.

Me: so how DO you feel Ulqui-chan?

Ulqui-chan: …

Me: ignoring me huh?

Ulqui-chan: …

Me: right then onto the story!

Grimmjow: 'bout fucking time you fucking whore!

Me: is that really anyway to talk to me…?

Grimmjow: who said I was talking to you? I was talking to the pale freak over there that can't seem to figure out that only Kiss can wear eyeliner like that without coming across as gay!

Me: 0_0

Ulqui-chan: just because you're not ready to come out of the closet yet doesn't mean you get to bash other people, trash. Besides, nearly every guy in that band turned out to be insane, bi, or gay. One even does a Coke commercial. Desperate much?

Me & Grimmjow: HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT SPOKE! AND DISSED KISS! X_x (died of blunt force trauma to the brain; I wonder who…?)

Random guy: alright on with the story!

Chapter 1: the betrayal.

Ulqui-chan's POV~

-_Flashback-_

_I sat on the roof, the cold breeze of the night air rushing along the empty plains of Hueco Mundo, caressed my face. Everything was calm, nothing stirred or fought or broke things unnecessarily in a struggle for meaningless power and dominance, and for once, I felt as if everything was right where it should be. Grimmjow, a close combatant of mine for many months, was probably in his room, blaring Screamo and sleeping heavily or having crazy animal sex with god-knows-who. Even inside my head, everything was clear and focused on the task at hand. Aizen had asked me to keep a record of my feelings, thoughts, and occurrences during my time left here. He has given me a small black book, with a red silk ribbon to keep one's place, and my name neatly engraved in the bottom right hand corner on the back page. The pages were small, light gray in color, and carefully lined so the author could clearly see his or her boundaries as they wrote. I was unsure at the time whether my master had asked any other Espada to track their recent happenings but my efforts to find out proved fruitless and I was left to question my masters motives, which in all likelihood, would prove to be my downfall._

_ I can't remember what else I felt that night as I resigned to my dark purple and black bedroom, the moonlight coming in through to large open window opposite the door. I might have felt lonely, depressed, or even curious as to what my first entry might hold. But being the obedient slave I was, I sat down at my dark brown mahogany desk, picked up my old raven feather pen and uncorking a bottle of black ink, opened to the first page and began wracking my brain for answers, as the feather wrote wavelike on the soft paper below._

-_Flashback End_-

1/7/07

Dear,-well whatever your formally known as.

I have the pleasure to inform you that today was the first day in nearly two weeks that I have not broken into a quarrel with Grimmjow. I'm not entirely sure where he was today but seeing as I managed to miss him all evening as well, I feel rather fortunate. The man NEVER shuts up. Sometimes I find myself wishing I could wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze until he stops fighting in and slips peacefully away into the darkness, though these thoughts have been deemed slightly disturbing according to Ichimaru-sama and he is still debating whether to tell Aizen-sama or help me do it because, frankly, nobody but Nnoitra can stand him. I think the Sexta and Espada Quinco may be having an affair…

Due to lack of evidence, I have yet to prove this theory, though I know it is correct. I'm not entirely sure Arrancar have sexual preferences beyond looks and attitude, meaning, I don't believe the gender really matters. I myself have been sexually aroused by both male and female alike and find no difference in the sex between them, though I must say there is a complex technique to both. Males, for instance, an area I am most familiar with, prefer or rather demand a rough, brutal time in bed, often involving blood and varying amounts of pain and bondage. Woman, however, liked to be pleased with a more gentle touch, more caressing and soothing to hide their fear of pain and underlying insecurities. I will, in any event, fuck either.

Seeing as both Nnoitra and Grimmjow are both very aggressive and masculine, I have no doubt they must, at some point, have been drawn to each other for a night of crazy, animalistic satisfaction, much like that of two leatherback turtles that hump one another to gain the answer to their craving, in which one must submit to the other, otherwise called "the determining of the Uke and the Seme". Seeing as I can imagine neither Grimmjow nor Nnoitra submitting to one another as the position of Uke, I am left with the gap in my theory. Therein lies the problem of the week. I wonder what I would be…? Surely not Uke to Nnoitra but possibly to Grimmjow. His demeanor is quite overpowering at times.

Anyways, I have a meeting to attend at 9:30 pm sharp and I have no intention of being late. I shall conclude this entry with a charming farewell and a kiss from me to you ;)

Sincerely, Ulquiorra Cifer.

**A/N: I know this chapter was a little...tight assed…but I can vogue for Ulqui-chan that after he gets comfortable and has more time to adjust, he'll start opening up to new things ;) I promise the next chapter will be longer and shit but some feedback would be nice if u'd pweaseeeeee!**

Me: so what u think Ulqui-chan?

Ulqui-chan: …'

Me: is that so?

Ulqui-chan: it was very…insightful.

Grimmjow: HAHA FUCKING SERVES YOU RIGHT BITCH! AIZENS'S GONNA FUCK YOU LIKE I FUCKED NEL!

Everyone else: 0_0

Me: isn't that child rape…?

Grimmjow: not if she likes it you dumb fucks.

Me: Nel…?

Nel (kid form): i…I don't member nuffin but I woke up next to him one mownin…he towld me he gave me a lollipop and I got rewwy tired and fewl asweep.

Me: so u did rape her…..

Grimmjow: NO she came into my room screaming 'bout getting some motherfucking puppy and then she ran into the wall and hit her head. I left her there and went to leave and next thing I know she went all hot chick on my ass and begged me to take her! The lollipop was a metaphor hehehehe~ I got kinda pissed when she screamed Ichigo's name so I knocked her over the head to shut her up and then she's a little girl again…but I still finished.

Me: excuse me officer but this man raped a little girl…and beat her up when she tried to scream for help.

*Grimmjow goes to jail for child rape and the abuse of a minor* THE END.


	2. scare me day

Disclaimer: again, I still don't own Bleach…or twinkies…. :'(

A/N: ok hopefully I'll develop some loyal readers someday and when someone who actually gives a shit reads this, they will know that I intend to get out as many as 3 chapters a week if not more. If I'm really busy in school and other shit, I'll probably only produce one a week :'( I'm going to try to insure at least one update a week and if I fall behind I'll make sure to make it up to you. Lets' just hope that doesn't happen. Anyways, I'm not sure how many chapters I'll do overall but if anyone has any ideas for chapters or something please share! Also, if u'd like me to write something for you specifically, send me message or something with what you had in mind and I'll be sure to get right on it. With that in mind, I bring you, ULQUI-CHAN!

Ulqui-chan's POV~

1/8/7

Dear journal,

Last night's meeting went splendid as I managed to find out some crucial information and I DID NOT get raped again by Aizen-sama or Ichimaru-sama. Rather, I made a move of my own on dearest Grimmjow. Apparently he HAS been fucking Nnoitra because as I brought up the subject during the meeting, Nnoitra chuckled and Grimmjow offered to give me another hollow hole in my face. Being the trash that he is I highly doubt he could if he wanted to but I offered him a go anyways. He declined with a rather intoxicating grumble. I decided then and there that he was going to be my next victim and I wouldn't take "no" for an answer. After the meeting concluded, I confronted Aizen in private, praying to whoever the fuck was out there, that I would not going to be sexually assaulted again. Aizen, though I am his loyal servant, is not, in any way, appealing in any sexual way, shape, or form. I quietly inquired what I was to call this…notebook, and he relied with a simple "an event remembrance journal". He warned me to keep it close in case any…wandering hands…might find their way into my room for a sneak peak at my personal items. I shall do as instructed.

On my way back to room I noticed a familiar blue shadow waiting for me at the end of the hall. Grimmjow came out of the shadows as I approached and pinned me to the wall, choking me in the process. His hands, as I recall, were very cold, calloused from the ware they were forced to endure while fighting and wielding weapons. I casually reminded him that he should get home and cook dinner for his dearest husband before a rip his arm off…again. He snarled which only heightened my awareness of the taller man's seductive habits, of which I'm sure he is unaware. Everything sputtered to a halt as I flicked out my tongue, cutely dragging it over the length of his bottom lip before winking, removing his hand, which the grip of said hand had loosened significantly due to shock, and slipped away into my room to hastily to record the scene within your tightly woven pages.

Grimmjow was trash but as they say, you have to dumpster dive once in your life at least to really understand what you're rejecting and tossing out. I understood that someone must have thrown away a precious diamond watch, carefully ticking away the time and resetting itself every 12 hours to avoid hitting a dead end which, for a watch, is the end of its usefulness. In this respect, we are all watches that have outlived their usefulness to our owners and have been thrown into the dumpster with all the other trash, only to be collected and recycled by Aizen-sama. In this way, he is our savior, and we owe him the utmost respect. However, he has a tendency to abuse his property until it either breaks, or spontaneously disappears. I for one would rather resign to the latter of the two. For Grimmjow, this may not be an option. I think he's already cracked and it's only a matter of time before Aizen-sama buys a much more respectable replacement. I'm not entirely sure of my reasons but I wish to save him, or repair him if you will. To me, he is an irreplaceable item.

If you will excuse me, I believe someone is at my door because last time I checked, my door didn't thump off and on at random, nor did it yell and cuss at me.

Sincerely, Ulquiorra Cifer.

1/9/7

Dear journal,

Nothing special happened today.

Sincerely, Ulquiorra Cifer.

1/10/7

Dear, fuck I hate this thing.

Apparently today was scare-the-living-fucking-shit-out-of-Ulquiorra-day because everyone has come to the decision that I should show emotions more, predominantly fear. They say fear is what I should feel regarding the duration of my life because life lived in Hueco Mundo was generally short lived. Between the dangerous missions to the human world and Soul Society, one's life is always in jeopardy, not to mention the intrusions we often get from the Kurosaki boy. Honestly, you capture and kidnap one little bimbo and you get all these fucking cute guys coming after her. Is she really that good of a fuck? Personally, I think this place could use some spicing up but nobody listens to the emotionally deprived freak in any case. Instead, they'd rather try to scare the shit out of me and see if I'll actually react. Bitches.

If I was to recount these attempts, all of which failed epically, I'd have to begin before I even woke up.

-_Flashback_-

_ The sun glistened through my window as my eyes slowly un-lidded themselves, allowing me to see the shape hovering over me like a dark cloud that threatens to ruin a sunny day. Nel. The little girl hopped on top of my and screamed as loud as she could, something about her birthday as I recall. She furiously jumped up and down each hit landing lower and lower on my abdomen. I tried ignoring her, shoving her off the bed, smothering her with a pillow twice her size, but nothing seemed to cease her annoying cries. Then it happened. With a loud crunch and a slight snap, she jumped on the only place I felt __anything__ worth caring about. Her feet landed between my legs and something inside me snapped. Feeling the intense pain in my groin, I shot up in bed and grabbed the giggling girl by the collar, throwing her first against the wall, then out the window by my bedside, 13 stories up. Oh how I wished I heard a sick crunch as her body connected to the sand below but my luck was poor today and she managed to land in someone's trash can. I assume it was Szayel's because the contents that stuck to Nel's body as she approached me later, were rather gory and bloodied. This made sense because, in more than one instance, Szayel's experiments, if you can even call them that, had failed and he has lost his temper, usually killing and torturing his test subjects. Szayel lived 2 stories down from me. _

_-Flashback End-_

Hours later, just after I had finished breakfast, Szayel had come up to apologize for releasing Nel and asked me if I'd like to help him in his latest research project: giving wings and a brain to a predigested Twinky. I most courteously refused with a well aimed toss out of my window and a stab in between his ribs with a kitchen knife. I might also add that during this process, I managed to cuss him out so thoroughly, I'm not even sure he could have imagined, at this point, he'd done anything note-worthy in his life.

For the next hour I took a shower, poked a caterpillar on my windowsill with a spoon until it died of blunt force trauma, and began making my way down the hall and to the elevator. I entered without a second thought and pressed the button marked " 3" why? Because I was going to find Tesra. Tesra was actually my second lay after arriving here. My first was Ggio Vega. Tesra was hot, strong, and surprisingly decent in bed, though his preferences were more like that of a girl. After being pissed-off by Szayel I was looking for a relaxing time with an old…toy. I didn't have feelings for the man then, nor do I now however I felt as though there was something great I could accomplish there today. What that was, I would have to leave to him.

The door to the elevator opened on level " 7" and I felt the slightest unease creep over me when nobody was there to enter. I closed my eyes and sighed, waiting for my flight downward to continue. Nearly 4 months ago, around when Grimmjow arrived, the elevator music stopped playing. Aizen-sama, who was rather fond of it at the time, spent an entire 2 weeks trying to fix it. Nothing. After the repair men Aizen had called from the human world dropped dead of internal hemorrhaging I decided to look into the matter for myself seeing as it was the most exciting thing to happen in nearly half a year. Turns out, Grimmjow hates elevator music with a fiery passion and ceroed the fuck out of the wiring. He also killed the repair men by doing god-know-what to their insides.

The doors began to close again and I opened my eyes. Everything was bitch black and I couldn't see a thing. I held my hand up to my face but it was swiped away by a soft, almost feminine hand. Someone had blindfolded me while I wasn't paying attention. Figures. One thing you can't do in this 'o great palace of protection is let your guard down. Who knows what would happen if you did, for instance, my recent predicament in the elevator. I tried using my other senses: touch- that was out of the question because I kept getting brushed off, sight- well obviously I didn't have that, hearing- a slight purring noise next to my right ear, and smell- a musky, forest like cologne filled my nostrils as a face came closer to me, purring louder than ever. That was it. I knew who it was just from the smell.

I held perfectly still while I figured out his exact location, taking in my surroundings as well. Once I had it figured out, I twisted 180 degrees to my right and shoved the man into the side of the elevator, my lips ravaging his. I forced my tongue in and had some fun before pulling out and removing my blindfold. "hello Ggio" I greeted, nonchalant and monotone as ever. He surprised me with a punch in the left cheek, his fist connecting solidly, a smirk evident on his well molded face.

The elevator doors swung open and I walked out quickly, trying to ignore the steady stream of cuss words coming out of the saber-toothed tiger arrancar's mouth. He tasted like booze, and something else I had never tasted before. It tasted sweet, and thick, like cream. '_oh my fucking god…'_ I had thought. Ggio lived only 3 doors down from me so there was no reason for him to be on the 7th floor unless he was visiting someone. He was visiting someone alright, and sucking them as well, from the taste of it. I had slept with nearly every attractive man or woman in Hueco Mundo, if they were high enough up and so had Ggio. He has similar standards to me if not higher. At this instant I knew who I must have tasted, because it was the only man I had yet to obtain. Grimmjow. Using any depth of reasoning it was easy to figure out. The man lived on the 7th floor, and we had not had the pleasure of meeting one another in bed, as well as the knowledge that Ggio had been having a short-term relationship with the blue slurpee-head. Yet another surprise for the day.

Later throughout my day nothing any more exciting happened except Nnoitra jumped out of the refrigerator in the main kitchen at me, Szayel turned out to be hard-core gay and tried to rape me by dragging me into the broom closet, and Grimmjow moved into the vacant room next to me. He decided to tell me this by climbing over the balcony from his room to mine and hiding under my bed. He jumped out after I had already undressed and was on my way into the shower. Lastly for the evening before I began this entry, Ggio showed up at my door disguising himself as a pizza delivery man, why I'll never know. He entered my house, stole my last piece of chocolate cake, and left me a note reading:

'_I am no longer dating your next door neighbor and I'd like to talk to you about it in private over dinner. Btw Aizen-sama would like to see you at his office for a night time session of "who killed the mocking-bird" whatever the fuck that is. He said 7:00 pm sharp and bring the "thing". He said you'd know what he was talking about. _

_My penis is larger than yours, Ggio Vega 3'_

As I read the note after he had run down the hall screaming from the entire sugar intake, I sighed and sat my desk to record, as was Aizen-sama's orders. Seeing as I have nothing left to record, I shall retire for the night and hope to god the rape isn't as harsh as last time. Aizen-sama likes to play games with his prey and the "thing" he referred to was a switch-blade he's given me during my last visit. I've never heard of this game before and I pray its better than his recent game " Jack the Ripper".

Sincerely, Ulquiorra Cifer.

**A/N: ok homedogs I felt like this one was a bit OOC but I hope to fix that in the near future…I don't know why but I wasn't really feeling this one XDD. So tell me what you think 'cause ima go crazy if I don't get something. Gracias por favor y queso taco. Btw I put Ggio in this cause u wuv him…just so smexeh…defiantly one of my favs.**

Me: Ulqui-chan tasted Grimm-chan! XDD

Grimmjow: not like I planned that bitch!

Ulqui-chan: I need soap…lots of soap. He tastes like beer and that fag.

Ggio-chan: bitch, don't underestimate me!

Ulqui-chan: remember, that line is what you said before you "died".

Ggio-chan: but I wuv you Ulqui-chan! Ur my idol! Ima outta rummmmmmmm! :'(

Me: oke who got the hottie drunk? -_-

*all signs point to Grimm-chan*

Me: oke me and Ggio-chan are going to have a chat. Grimm-chan go fuck Nnoitra or something and poke his other eye out while you're at it. Ulqui-chan, go take a shower and put some band-aids on that ass of yours 'cause I know Aizen-sama likes his knives. Hehehe~

Ulqui-chan: rape is not funny, trash.

Me: ok u know fucking what? Go suck a dick you municipal piece of SHIT!

Everyone Else: 0_0

Me: my bad…someone turned off my internet all day so I wasn't able to upload anything else. Sorreh…group hug?

Ulqui-chan: yea I guess.

Grimmjow: eh why the fuck not?

Ggio-chan: yayyy~~~ huggles aplenty!

Me: you smell like beer….LETS GO PARTAYYYY! I mean talk…yea that's what we're gonna do. Hehehee…. ;)

Ulqui-chan: can I ask a favor before we leave?

Me: yes?

Ulqui-chan: can we bury the caterpillar…I feel..Sorrowful for its current state of neglect. A spoon rupturing your kidneys is a pathetic way to die, even for a bug.

Me: mmmtayy….

Ulqui-chan: thank you for your generosity Rue-sama.

Me: 0.o no need for that Ulqui-chan. I agree the caterpillar died without honor…or reason.

Ulqui-chan: it had a reason. 2 really.

Me: oh? Pray tell.

Ulqui-chan: 1): it was trash. 2): it was entertaining.

Me: mmmtayy…..ima get you a pretty white coat for x-mas otay? It's nice and warm and tight 'cause I know that's how you like your…belongings…to be.

Grimmjow: ima go fuck the waitress at Denny's now 'cause she's been winking at me all night. Later.

In the end: Grimmjow gets Herpes, Ulqui-chan finds out his sexual interests are more towards caterpillars than anything else, and me and Ggio-chan have a very loud and drunk night together in his room, in which I wake up the next morning and find my neck has 7 stitches. Nnoitra becomes a naked pole-dancer in Reno and makes good money and Szayel is manager at Burger King with his favorite employee being Tesra. Unfortunately they were shut down 3 months after their opening because of an anonymous tip that someone saw a huge ass pink haired cockroach fighting about who gets to wear the strap-on with a certain blonde employee. Ishi-chan (Ishida Uryuu or course) later was found guilty for the murder of said cockroach and sentenced to life in a teenage girl's body, chained to Kon-kun. And life moves on…


	3. What's up hun?

**A.N:** ok, ok I know I fucked up. I'm not gonna lie. I totally forgot to update and though I have been writing I just got too lazy to post. Please forgive meeee! I really didn't mean to…I just get these really lazy periods once in a while where I find absolutely no motivation what-so-ever and it makes it really hard to do anything. As of today I am working very hard on editing everything I have wrote and typing up the things I wrote on paper (because I don't carry a computer everywhere and I never know when I will feel inspired to write). FML. Again I'm very sorry nad I will try extra hard to get everything up. Btw it would be VERY inspiring if you were to let me know you care where it be through message or reviews (which I have yet to receive [_]. Even some more views would be appreciated. 3 luv u all and hope message or reviews (which I have yet to receive [_]. Even some more views would be appreciated. 3 luv u all and hope you all had a great new years and Christmas.

Chapter 3: what's up hun?

_**1/12/7**_

Dear journal,

This is the point in my life where I wish I was never resurrected. Feelings, once so trivial and distant, are surfacing from within me and I find them utterly useless. I am writing after another evening meeting with Aizen-sama, of which I regret attending very much. My backside was bleeding for a timed 37 minutes afterwards. As the throbbing continues I can only sit and write and hope the pain subsides within the hour, otherwise I fear I may not be able to sleep. As for today's events, Aizen-sama decided to call a noon meeting in which Grimmjow spilled tea all over Ichimaru-sama. He lost an ear, which was later reattached but he was informed it would never be the same; mainly it isn't attached as strongly as before.

The point of the meeting was to debate rather than discuss, much to Aizen-sama's displeasure, the addition of a new section of Hueco Mundo. The building was to be called the Caterpillar Complex, much to my horror. It was to be an almost exact replica of the jungle in South American; the human world no less. This room would contain the animal and plant life and would be no different from what you would see were you actually in South America. The addition of this building caused great uproars within the board room and was left to open discussion due to a sudden headache Aizen-sama had acquired. I, for one, was against the idea. Those like me, consisting of a similar opinion, were Stark, Baraggan, Harribel, and Aaroniero. Seeing as Ichimaru-sama agreed with the idea, the vote was left as a tie and in the end Aizen-sama had the final say. The building is scheduled to start construction tomorrow. Great. I fear the opening because no doubt there will be crawling worms with fur. Just fucking great.

With this I'll leave and try to secretly sabotage the construction in hopes to destroy all hope of building it. I know I will not succeed but I have nothing better to do with my time at the moment seeing as Grimmjow is out on a mission in the human world and Aizen is "busy" with Ichimaru-sama.

With much resentment, Ulquiorra Cifer.

_**1/12/7**_

Dear angst recorder,

After 4 hours of unsuccessful plotting I've decided that I will just let the construction continue. I find that it is useless to fight against a power much bigger than myself unless you have the strength and the man power-so to speak- to stand up for a cause. I have more than enough strength but I can-in no way- persuade the rest of the council to side with me because of my fear of rape-predicting caterpillars. Thus, I have simply resigned to staying as far from the "Caterpillar Complex" as long as need be. I hope this will solve my problem or at least delay the need of my immediate attention until later notice.

Now on to the less important matters. After 3 ½ hours of constant brain twitches, I decided food was necessary if I was to keep working and thinking as I must. I had walked down to the kitchen only to find that the fridge was empty of everything with the exception of a cracked open egg with an undeveloped chicken head hanging from the clear ooze it produced. I slowly closed the fridge door only to have it yanked back open by a certain electric-blue haired feline. Everything went wrong from this moment on.

_~Flashback~_

_ The door creaked to halt as I heard footsteps approaching. My hand still on the refrigerator handle I finally resolve that wasting electricity was a bad idea because we all had to contribute to the power bill and the less I spend on unnecessary bills such as power the more I can spent on better (more edible) food._

_ I made the motion to close the door but instead it had the opposite effect. The door was literally being torn from the hinges, my hand still clutching the handle gently. _

_ "what's up hun?". The voice resonated throughout the room with definite clarity. Grimmjow had just returned from his mission and was feeling angsty again. I swiveled on my heel to face him, removing my hand from its grip in the process. _

_ "Hello, Grimmjow. What is It you desire?" at this point I knew I sounded rather slavish but at the moment I was more than engulfed in the trivial matter of how to dismiss this man from my presence. _

_ "you" this came out as a low, seductive growl and with finality he pounced on me and kissed me roughly. My mind stopped mid-thought and my mouth began moving of its own accord. I kissed back with such force he actually released me and looked genuinely surprised. _

_ "done?" I asked, my voice also sounding low and much more inviting than I would have liked. But it couldn't be helped. Not now. This would have to wait until later. _**What are you doing?**_ My mind screamed at me, but I couldn't help myself. I was in too deep and I was quickly drowning out the thoughts of refusal, denial, __**hatred.**__ Everything seemed to evaporate on the spot as though Grimmjow's kiss was more powerful than he himself was. _

_ "not even close, but unfortunately I have a report to make than __**cannot**__ wait until later unless I want to lose another fucking arm and this time that bimbo bitch isn't here to fix it. Later, hun" he smirked at me, gave a sensitive area in my pants a strong squeeze, and left. _

** What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened?** _my mind reeled for the answer but non came to mind so I pushed the oocurance away from my thoughts reach and went back to my room, telling myself that nothing happened except the fridge was empty. _**That's right Ulquiorra, nothing happened. just an empty fridge is all. Nothing happened back there and nothing will because nobody is here. Everyone is busy. Nothing happened. nothing…**_ as much as I reassured myself and comforted myself with these thoughts, I still know that something DID happen and that memory won't ever be completely gone, though hopefully this annoying arousal will._

_End of Flashback~_

I think this time I must admit that I am indeed feeling VERY violated. My groin hurts from the pressure Grimmjow used and I am rather tired of being pushed around like a ragdoll (even if I had a **small** thing for Grimmjow). Why must I always be uke?

Lastly, but most important, I just saw another caterpillar on the plant I keep outside the small window by my bed. I think this means 3 things. 1: I'm going to be raped again and this time it shall be in my bed, 2: I need to find a spoon as soon as I finish writing this so I can poke it to death, and 3: I will have to waste more money still, on bug spray for my poor, defenseless blood rose (thorns won't work against such small predators -_-). I think I am really starting to hate spring time in Hueco Mundo more than I usually do, which is something to say because this place holds little interest for me if any.

As Grimmjow would say, "you iz my elf-hoe!", Ulquiorra Cifer.

Me: okkkk….i'm seriously not sure what to say about this…how about u Grimm-chan?

Grimmjow: again, FUCK YOU! DON'T CALL ME THAT! Personally I think he's over thinking it. he has a tendency to do that. Hehe! He admitted he likes me though ;) next time I see him will be something he won't even TRY to forget! Muahahaha!

Me: NO RAPE! Only Ai-chan and Gin-chan can do that! Tee hee and me of course but that isn't exactly what you'd call rape ;D

Ulqui-chan: stop talking about me behind my back, Trash. ^and no it isn't rape. As I said before, I will fuck male and female alike. But somehow she is different. More animal like really.

Me: so you have a thing for bestiality? (the preference to animal sex over human sex 0_0 and yes its illegal)

Grimmjow: well that's fucking swell! Now he'll be all over me! Last thing I need is another Ichigo! That guy stalks me…says he loves me 0_X

Ulqui-chan: no I just prefer things that aren't exactly human. Actual animals creep me out, much like the rape predicting caterpillar. And Grimmjow you did date him for 2 weeks, I can understand why he'd be attached. Why **did** you break up with him?

Grimmjow: he was too into emo dudes at the time and kept a picture of you in his wallet. It got a bit too much. He even told me that I should be nicer to you! What a bunch of bullshit!

Strawberry: not true! Ulqui-chan I swear its not true! I only said that because I thought you deserved a break and that if he kept on you'd kill yourself…again….ANYWAYS! I really respect you!...wanna go eat some ramen with me tonight? Pwease?

Ulqui-chan: I'm afraid I have to respectfully decline your offer Kurosaki-san, but I have previous engagements.

Me: your engaged? Fucking Gin…I swear I'll kill him! *and I continue my crazy rant about bubble gum and a chopstick for nearly 30 minutes*

Everyone else: 0_0 rightt…..

**A.N**: again, very sorry about uploading and everything and I'm working double time to get evertything edited and typed up. also, I'd like to say that I am offering a Christmas special to anyone who messegaes me about one. Just give me your name (whatever you want it to be in the story), personality, looks, likes, dislikes, etc…I'll also need the character(s) of your choice and their relationship to you as well as what you'd like to happen (roughly). Lastly, it doesn't have to be a character(s) from Bleach, it can be from anyother manga you like. If I don't know the manga your talking about I'll stay up as long as I need to in order to research it thanks again for reading, reviewing, messaging, etcc…luv you all and please remember that I am only offering the personalized story option to the first 15 people who get to me before the end of the month. If you'd like me to make a personalized thing for you after the end of the month, still let me know and if I'm not too busy I'll get right on it. if I am, it may need to be postponed. ALSO, will never ever ignore a request from anybody even if it seems like I am.

3 peace out, RueRigescent.


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